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Summer Sucks

by American Beauty

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1.
Stage Fright 03:50
For the record that record that I showed you has been playing over and over inside my head and I remember you told me this was fucked around mid June And like that record I'm a record spinning round and round and like a needle you are tearing me inside of my bones my tone my clarity has gone to shit so place me back up on your shelf I’ve been sitting in this room for way too long Wondering if this is what I really want And I’m sorry if I don’t pick up your calls Hit me up when it’s time to go back out All my friends are drunk, and I’m sober as day cause I drink too much on my own, in my room, late at night thinking of you And my friends called me late to come out And I said I’m too tired I just wanna go to bed And I left my god in the backseat of your car the night you drove me home And I walked home drunk under the starless night sky thinking of you
2.
The pictures on your wall they stay hidden tonight In the desk where we kept my stoges, I didn't reply to the message that you sent cause I'm trying this thing where I try to forget you cause that's what you did to me that night And you're the deep end of a swimming pool and I'm diving in with concrete on my ankles looking for some comfort like in that song I heard but I guess it's not so simple It's hard to determine your intentions without asking all them questions That I know you hate But I'll ask them anyway Everything I needed to trying to break through my front teeth I washed it all back with a glass of stale beer and a cigarette intertwining your soft words with my fragile skull you contorted my thoughts of these past few months and i can't help but always let you in And maybe one day we'll know what this is all for but for now lets enjoy The uncounted minutes and seconds of silence The small words exchanged that inherited larger meaning as the months went on The brush of contact between cold hands on 53rd street and the drunk nights we'd spend inside your car cause in the end we'll remember the little things and the smiles left over from good days and restless nights. Thank God for details.
3.
We’re at the party, Frank and Kev are wasted. Mark you’re nowhere to be found and I’m locked in a bathroom in the basement Dan, where are you? (I’m right here) I can here her calling (what’s she saying?) She saying, “When are you coming over to shotgun more beers again?” I wanna know what it’s like to feel like myself, I’m tired of holding up appearances and tearing down the walls of my brain Are you here? Let’s go home. I’m tired of pretentious conversations about how your friends are better than mine I wanna go back to that little spot behind those train tracks tonight Can you walk me to my car? I can’t seem to remember where I parked it We both know that’s bullshit, I just need sometime to explain myself And I know your sorry and I’m sorry Im probably still know quite over it And I know it’s hard to be in love with me when I’m so caught up in the past It’s alright, I’ll go out and get drunk and try my best to forget about it It’s alright, I’ll call dan to come over to shotgun more beers again
4.
I wanna know how you feel Wish you would’ve called me up that night And got drunk inside of my car I don’t really wanna talk about it Come around and figure this out just one last time And I’m sorry for the nights you spent and left smelling like smoke, I know you hate the smell, but I love the company cold lips and shaky hands hold the letters you left your lover back in jersey And I wish you’d come back , things won’t ever be the same without you 2am at the bleachers at you union high Getting drunk and smoking my life away And your lips are glasses of cheap whiskey and tonight I plan on getting so wasted, that I'll pass out right on your floor.
5.
Trepanation 02:39
Black ink in my right thigh Shitty stick and poke tattoos that just Don’t meant shit anymore Jagged cuts on ur title fight crop top Both our heads stuck in the ceiling fan As i lie on my death bed thinking of all you ever said and what you meant to me. There’s a hole in my head, the one that you left. Here we go again another year of this bullshit Waking up man I’m so fucking sick of it Cause been having the same dream about you And it doesn’t make sense anymore You were yelling and screaming hollering get your act together it’s been a year of this shit Binging fits, the fun never ends Till ur staring at ur toilet throwing up during sunrise again I was yelling and screaming hollering I love you so much let’s just not break up Now I’m leaning on my bed frame choking on my words trying t sell myself for twice of what I’m worth
6.
Floras gonna be so pissed at the end of the summer when she comes home and finds her bed held up by old books you've read Are you okay with the fact that I'll never come home to you again ? Cause I know I'm not When you go out tonight I hope I cross your mind When you go home tonight I hope you call me In the backseat of your car was the best night of my life I fell in love in a small bed in a New Brunswick dorm You're gonna be so pissed at the end of of the summer when you see my face cause you know I always have my ways "Are you okay?" That what she asked me last night No, I'm not okay with any of this shit When you see him tonight I hope I cross your mind When you see me next week I hope you think of nights.. ...Like a minute to twelve on New Year's Eve Everyone was outside and we owned those living room seats And then we stood up and you counted down I've never been so lost in brown eyes before I'm gonna be so pissed If at the end of the year if i don't kiss your lips when midnight hits

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Written and performed by American Beauty

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released October 21, 2018

Recorded, mixed and mastered at DLM Studios in Highland Park, New Jersey by Justin Calaycay

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